Pacing and Planning Your Own Recovery

Becoming Part of The Institute's Path to Recovery



Since the beginning of the year, we have been focused on discussing your recovery in great detail. That's because the power of pathology saws people off at the knees. In order to heal, you have to have a plan for your own recovery. We consider this so important, that a portion of all of my counseling including phone, in person, or during retreats, is focused on how to pace and plan your own recovery.

Women fantasize that 'somehow' getting over this pathological relationship will just 'happen' and don't realize they should be planning their recovery, or even how to go about planning it. In fact, most women have done zero to plan or facilitate their own healing process. Those of you who have found the website are at least that much further ahead than the women who haven't even begun reading about the topic of her relationships yet! So finding the information is a great first step. But, it's only a first step, and too many women stop there only to relapse and get into yet another pathological relationship.

Last year's newsletters spent a lot of time examining the depth of damage done at the hands of your pathological. We have looked at PTSD, The Cracked Vessel, the need for Living the Gentle Life, about intrusive thoughts and obsessions, healing spiritually, healing sexually, and about fantasy and hatred. We have spent almost 52 weeks looking very deeply at the issues of how this relationship has hurt you emotionally, physically, medically, spiritually, sexually, and financially.

There will always be those women who won't do anything about their lives except continue to be a victim of it. How do I know this? I get the same emails from the same people week after week asking me the same 'loophole-based' questions about 'do I think she should leave him because after all, he SAID he would change.' Week after week the same people with the same questions who haven't read the book, who haven't spent time in the workbook, who haven't listened to one mp3 or CD, who haven't spent one hour in counseling…. keep asking the same questions, expecting things to get better, and getting the same results.

Any 12-Stepper knows that the only way they can stay away from something so life-gripping like drugs, alcohol, gambling, or sex is with a concerted daily focused recovery on themselves, and the behaviors, habits, and beliefs that led to the life-damaging events that have altered them. Women who will recover from pathological relationships are those who take the same serious and focused approach to the life-gripping and life-damaging relationship that has altered their life.

We spend forty-plus hours a week at The Institute developing ways to strengthen YOUR recovery – after all, this isn't about US! We do this by writing books, e-books, making mp3s and CDs, and other products. By giving workshops and conferences, training therapists so they can do phone counseling with you, opening a retreat center so you can get specific and unique treatment for your issues, and intense research so we understand WHAT you need to heal from this.

We hope that 2012 is the year you really knuckle-down and focus on your recovery – taking the steps you need to heal from the life damaging experience at the hands of the pathological. Why? First of all we don't want pathology to win by destroying the lives of strong and wonderful women. We exist to kick butt on this issue! Secondly, WE NEED YOU!

~ If you don't teach the woman you sit next to, how will she learn to spot
and avoid pathology?

~ If you don't heal and recover, who will be a teacher to others?

~ Who will run support groups?

~ Who will give community lectures?

~ Who will operate an outreach?

It's not us. Our focus is to educate YOU. Your job is to reach others! The year 2012 can be the year that you heal and reach others. Let us help you reach your recovery goals, and then, the world!