The holidays can be a very stressful time for most people. The frenzy that accompanies this time wears not only on the body, but can profoundly affect the mind and emotions. This is especially true when dealing with pathological relationships. Whether you are currently dealing with pathological individuals within the family, are in a marital or love relationship with a pathological person, or are recovering from a pathological relationship, the element of psychopathic dysfunction adds another dimension to ordinary holiday stress.
Those who were raised in families with psychopathic dynamics may carry a vague uneasiness around the holidays. It may be hard to pinpoint why there is a sense of dread around this time, until one becomes consciously aware of how past dysfunction has colored the present. Being able to let go and enjoy the holidays can be difficult. Be aware of your feelings and the circumstances that surround them. Sometimes just being aware helps to alleviate negative emotions. Be gentle with yourself, as you need to reprogram how to accept the joy the season can bring, and then have the ability to enjoy this goodness.
Those who are currently married or involved with a pathological person know the anxiety and distress the holidays can bring. The hoopla of the season brings with it an exaggerated variety of lies, manipulations, selfish behaviors, and drama. During this time, many behaviors exacerbate for various and obvious reasons. With each year that passes, many hold on to the hope that something will change for the better. This will never happen as the psychopath cannot sustain positive change, nor do they care to change unless change would work in their favor.
For those who are recovering from a pathological relationship, the holidays can be a mixed bag of emotions. A sense of relief may be felt by being unencumbered by the psychopath’s burdensome behaviors. The holidays could be experienced as a time of joy, instead of a time to dread.
On the other hand, the holidays are an opportune time for psychopaths to make their way back into relationships. Most people feel somewhat tender and nostalgic during the holiday season. Emotions that are running high, coupled with music, alcohol, and the overall romance of the season, are the perfect set-up for psychopathic manipulation back into the relationship.
During the holiday season, it is extremely important to keep a sense of balance and peace within oneself. This is especially true if you are under the stressful circumstances of pathology. Keeping this time as stress-free as possible will help to keep you grounded, balanced, and healthy in body, mind and spirit.
● Maintain healthy eating habits. It is very easy to overindulge with food during the holidays. Keep a regular meal schedule, preferably four to six small meals per day, to keep your body fueled. Be sure to incorporate some form of protein in your meals. This will help to keep blood sugar levels in check. Also, try to limit the amount of sugar you consume. Too much sugar will make the body and mind feel sluggish. Keeping balance in your daily diet ensures good nutrition for the body, and no unwanted weight gain.
● Do not go off prescribed medication at this (or any) time unless directed by your physician. Also, do not self-medicate.
● Keep away from alcohol as much as possible. If you must indulge, drink responsibly. The consequences of excessive drinking can be disastrous.
● Exercise.* Walking, jogging, yoga, weight training—whatever is in your normal routine, keep exercising during the busy holiday season. Exercise makes us feel good, and it’s good for us.
● Walk away from dysfunctional behavior as much as possible. Don’t waste your breath trying to reason with the unreasonable.
● Do not overextend or overspend on the pathological person if they are, unfortunately, in your life. They don’t appreciate or deserve your time, money, or efforts.
● Avoid holiday music if it makes you nostalgic for the “good times” with the pathological. Reminiscing and ruminating about this relationship is a waste of time during the holidays, and at any other time.
● Avoid hooking up with the pathological or with anyone during the holiday season. This is a vulnerable time and could lead to more poor choices.
● Talk with a qualified counselor, spiritual advisor, or trusted friend if you find yourself overwhelmed during this time.
● Spend quality time with those family members and friends who enhance your life. Visiting and entertaining can add much joy to your life if done with the right people.
● Keep the holiday season a sacred time. Whether you follow a specific religion or not, take some quiet time each day for prayer, meditation, or positive reflection to keep your mind and emotions in check.
● Maintain a grateful attitude no matter what the circumstances, and be good to yourself. Remember, you made it through another year, life is precious, and so are you.
~ Peace and joy to you this holiday season. ~
*Before starting any health program, please consult your physician, or a certified or licensed professional in a particular discipline. This is especially important if you are pregnant or have health issues.
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