Many of you have indeed had
the experience of facing getting over the aftermath of a Pathological Love
Relationship with very little legal justice. It doesn’t mean that you don’t
pursue your own rights. You should always stand up for what you believe in. It’s
just that if the universe tilts in his favor yet again, or the courts continue
to not support you, you still have to heal—for your own recovery and your own
future, you MUST still heal.
It is the same as today’s
message—Recovering Without Validation. Sometimes NO ONE believes he was a
pathological monster and did the things you said he did. He continues on in his
job looking normal and is even successful while you wind up looking hysterical,
unstable, and out of your mind. Mr. Pathological schmoozes with your friends,
family, or bosses, convincing all those around us he never did what you said he
did, doesn’t have the traits you accuse him of, and is just trying to be a good
guy to a freaked-out woman.
Mr. Pathological turns
friends against you. Your attorney starts to believe HIS version of the story.
Cops withhold restraining orders because “he seems like such a nice guy,” and
even your children may take his side.
This is the ‘conning’ side of
his personality. Most pathologicals are octagons—they have eight sides!—his
charming side, intellectual side, friendly side, professional side, rageful
side, addiction side, mentally ill side and lying/conning side. But most people don’t see his negative sides
of rage, addiction, mental illness, lying and conning. His positive sides that
face outwardly to the general public are charming, intellectual, friendly, and
professional. It is no wonder women have to go through the recovery process
with very little validation.
Find your validation from
others who have also experienced a pathological love relationship. There is a
lot of research, countless books, numerous forums, and more and more organizations
designed to respond to pathological love relationships. You will find that you
are not alone and there are others who have gone through the same experience.
Just be sure to exercise due diligence for your safety and security when using
on-line resources!
**If we can support you in your recovery process, please let us
know. The Institute is the largest provider of recovery-based
services for survivors of pathological love relationships. Information
about pathological love relationships is in our award-winning book, Women Who Love Psychopaths, and is also
available in our retreats, 1:1s, or phone sessions. See the website for
more information.
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