In the previous newsletter, I talked about recovering from a
pathological love relationship. The toll it takes on people often leaves them
with symptoms of chronic stress. For extremely bad relationships, often the
result is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)—a diagnosed anxiety disorder.
The long-term stress from the pathological love relationship (with narcissists,
abusive partners, socio/psychopaths) affects people emotionally, physically,
sexually and spiritually.
I have been talking about what the body does when it is
under chronic stress and the results of this unrelenting stress. The last
newsletter discussed how to deal with the physical ramifications of stress. I
also talked about changing your physical environment to embrace the needs of a
stress disorder.
Today, we are going to discuss emotional effects and how to
create the gentle life for your emotional needs as well.
PTSD is an emotional disorder that falls in the category of
anxiety disorders. Therefore, someone with chronic stress of any kind needs to
learn the types of techniques that help reduce emotional anxiety. The problem
is, by the time people ask for help with chronic stress or PTSD, they have
often lived with it for a long time and the symptoms are then extreme.
The emotional effects of untreated PTSD can include tension,
panic attacks, depression, anxiety, sleep disturbances, intrusive thoughts,
nightmares, flashbacks, or hyper-startle reflex. All of these are distressing
and, over time, a combination of these symptoms can normally occur at the same
time.
Relaxation techniques are a way of managing the physical
symptoms of PTSD. Relaxation techniques are not ‘optional’ in the recovery of
chronic stress/PTSD. That’s because these techniques have a dual purpose. These
same relaxation techniques also help manage the emotional and physical symptoms.
Learning correct breathing to ward off anxiety and panic attacks can be done
through relaxation techniques.
Likewise, these same techniques can help with sleep
disruptions and tension. Chronic stress and PTSD are disorders that should be
treated by a professional therapist. Especially with PTSD, the symptoms tend to
increase over time if not treated. People make the mistake of waiting until it
is totally unbearable, and then it takes time to ease the symptoms. People are
often hopeful it will just go away when the pathological relationship has ended
or contact has ceased. These aren’t called the worst relationships in the world
for nothing! They are labeled as such because they produce horrible side
effects!
Unfortunately, PTSD is a chronic disorder meaning you are
likely to have symptoms off and on for years, maybe a lifetime. This is all the
more reason to learn how to manage the symptoms when you may need to. Intrusive
thoughts are one of the most complained-about symptoms.
This is when unwanted thoughts of the pathological person or
relationship keep popping up in your head. No matter how many times you try to not to think about them, they keep
coming back. The problem with the images in your mind is that each time they
pop up, they have the ability to trigger you. Your body responds to the trigger
with adrenaline and starts the whole stress cycle over again. So managing the
intrusive thoughts and flashbacks is imperative to emotionally regulating
yourself and living the gentle life.
Living the gentle life means removing yourself from
personalities that are similar to the pathological relationship. We often tend
to migrate BACK to the same kinds of people and relationships we just left. These
kinds of abusive people can cause an emotional avalanche. It is important that
you understand the kinds of traits in people that should be avoided if you have
PTSD or high-level stress. These could be people who remind you of the
pathological person, loud or aggressive people, or those who violate your
boundaries or bother you in other ways. Stress and PTSD do mandate that you
develop self-protective skills such as setting boundaries—learning to say no or
leave environments that increase your symptoms. Learn to migrate instead to
people who are serene or leave you feeling relaxed and happy.
Creating your gentle physical
environment will also help you emotionally. An environment that is soothing,
calm, quiet, soft, and comfortable has the best chance of allowing an
over-stimulated body to relax. Changing your physical environment for your emotional
benefit, and adding relaxation techniques can greatly impact the amount of emotional
symptoms you experience. Learning ‘emotional regulation skills’ for stress and
PTSD is a must.
If you are in need of the
following:
- Pathological love relationship education
- Healing the aftermath symptoms of intrusive thoughts, obsessive thinking, flashbacks, anxiety, depression
- Learning to manage PTSD
…The Institute is just the place to get your life back! For
information on the services we offer, go to http://saferelationshipsmagazine.com/services-for-survivors/path-to-recovery.
We’ll be happy to help you find a treatment modality that is right for you.
(**If
we can support you in your recovery process, please let us know. The
Institute is the largest provider of recovery-based services for
survivors of pathological love relationships. Information about pathological
love relationships is in our award-winning book, Women Who Love Psychopaths, and is also available in our retreats,
1:1s, or phone sessions. See the website for more information.)
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